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Exercising Values

Happy, Healthy, Kind, & Considerate Kids

Marriage: Blood, Sweat, Tears, and a Smile

family family life goals inspiration marriage selfcare support teamwork values Jul 28, 2011

As much as we talk about parenting skills on Exercising Values, it is important to remember that the well-being of the parents both individually and as a couple has an impact on the children that supersedes any parenting technique. It is an aspect of parenting that continues throughout life and will linger after you are gone. Your children will call on the memory of you at age 30, 40, 50, 60, and beyond when they reach those ages themselves and it will be your example that will call out to them with direction or warning.

I’ve been married to a guy I met in high school and we have had blood, sweat, and tears in our time together. We are not now and never have been a storybook married couple but we have weathered every storm and threat to our union, even those of our own creation.

Today we are traveling to Montana so I can train in elevation for an upcoming race in Switzerland. Earlier today, I was remembering how much I loved road trips together when we were young because I had endless time to talk to him and really where could he go to escape? He was a captive audience. I was wondering what in the world I found to talk about as we could now finish each others sentences.

Then he surprised me. Just like in the movies he broke out into song and yes it was a song by Blood, Sweat, and Tears. He serenaded me with “You Make Me So Very Happy”.  Sure it was as corny as it sounds but I was not just smiling on the outside, I was smiling deep in my heart. Those rough times linger: the times of blood, sweat, and especially the times of tears. But a silly gesture opened my heart and so this may be the best trip I’ve had in a while.

Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there with a gesture of love of your own. In a marriage, it is so easy to tear down, to neglect and be neglected, and to get discouraged. There will be times characterized by blood, by sweat, and certainly by tears. It’s up to you to add smiles to the list. Love your children by loving yourself and by loving each other.

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About the Author

Pamela Davenport

MSW, CPT, PES, CES, FNS, YES, SFS ACE

For decades I have helped countless parents and their children overcome significant obstacles. My unique accomplishments in the fields of child development, health, and fitness have given me an unparalleled perspective and expertise that I would love to share with you.

  • Award-Winning Author and Parenting Coach
  • Mother of six and grandmother of five
  • Studied Juvenile Justice at Stanford University
  • Master’s degree in Social Work
  • Experienced family counselor
  • Support group leader for struggling parents
  • Taught health at the university level
  • Program manager for the personal training programs at two colleges
  • Personal Trainer helping people lose 5lb-100lb+
  • Two-time Ironman Triathlete and competing member of team USA
  •  UMB Lifetime Sportswoman Award 2017